Emotionless
by Katnz17
Summary: When one stupid mistake threatens Jude and Tommy's marriage Tommy finds himself struggling to regain his wife's trust and love.
1. Chapter 1: Pain

A/N: This was originally meant to be a One-Shot but has mutated into a short story. I haven't finished writing it yet but there are currently seven parts waiting to be posted on my computer. Please review!!

**Synopsis:** When one stupid mistake threatens Jude and Tommy's marriage; Tommy finds himself struggling to regain his wife's trust and love.

**Part 1: Pain**

She dropped her keys on the table in the foyer and called up the stairs; "Tommy? Are you home?" She heard a thud and footsteps scuffling around on the floor above her as she shrugged off her coat and hung it in the closet.

Slowly she made her way up the stairs, pausing to smile at the pictures of her and Tommy on their wedding days that lined the wall alongside the stairs. She was happy. She'd had a great day at the studio and was looking forward to spending a nice relaxing evening with her wonderful husband.

Her feet made almost no sound as she padded down the carpeted hallway, "Tommy?" She called again. Noticing muffled sound coming from the guest bedroom she ventured toward it. "Are you in here?" She pushed the doorway open and stared at astonished horror at the scene in front of her.

"Jude," Her name was a desperate and breathless utterance from Tommy's lips as he took a tentative step toward her.

Her mouth fell open as she gazed from him to the woman across the bed from him, buttoning up her shirt and refusing to meet Jude's eyes. Tommy was shirtless and wearing a pair of old jeans. His mouth opened and closed like a dying fish gasping for air.

Jude turned and fled. Her footsteps were still strangely silent as she raced down the hall. Like a child after a fight with her parents she sought the comfort of her bedroom, ignoring the fact that it was his bedroom too. Him, the man who'd just betrayed her with a woman she didn't even recognize.

She silently threw herself down on the bed, an arm covering her eyes as she gasped for air.

Tommy had followed close behind. He'd expected her to slam the door in his face, to lock it or push an item of furniture to block his entrance and was surprised to find the door half open.

He slowly ventured inside, preparing for a verbal onslaught of anger or distraught tears.

He gazed at Jude's still form on the bed. "Jude, I-" He couldn't find adequate words. He put a hand to his head and kicked the wall, wincing as pain coursed through his foot.

Jude hadn't moved.

"I'm… I'm sorry." He whispered, "I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't…" Again words failed him and silence settled over them.

He took a few steps closer to the bed, still anticipating her to whirl to face him as she screamed bloody murder.

She didn't move.

After nearly ten minutes of silence and his pointless and pathetic words he moved to stand by the side of the bed. In frustration he pulled her arm away from her face, hoping to see her expression to know something of what she was feeling toward him in that moment.

Emotionless blue eyes met his momentarily before she rolled to face away from him, her arm once again falling to hide her face.

A broken sigh escaped his lips as he slowly sank to sit on the bed. He gazed out the window at their back yard. Jude had spent weeks planting flowers and trees, placing tiles and creating the beautiful outdoor setting that now gazed back at him accusingly.

The realization of the true consequences of his actions was only just starting to dawn on him. His actual actions were only just starting to dawn on him.

He'd been about to cheat on Jude. Had she not arrived home at the moment she had there was no doubt in his mind that he would have actually cheated on her.

His head sank into his cold hands as mind screamed self abuse. Who was he? What had he become? How could he have willfully caused such irreparable damage to the most important thing in his life; his marriage?

He glanced over his shoulder at the still form of his wife. She was the dearest thing in the world to him. Someone he'd always valued over his own life. He would die for her and yet less then half an hour earlier he'd done something that was the equivalent of stabbing her in the heart with an icy knife.

He'd hurt the person he loved the most.

He sat silently, gazing blankly out the window as darkness settled over the room. The feeling of self loathing that had overtaken him was fierce. He didn't deserve to be breathing right now. He should be buried six feed under the dark, damp earth for the heartless act he'd almost committed.

He didn't deserve this beautiful house he lived in, he didn't deserve the comfortable and safe life he took for granted and most of all he didn't deserve the wonderful, talented, beautiful and kind woman lying on the bed behind him.

He didn't even notice the sun dip behind the horizon. Hours had passed when he finally snapped from his daze and glanced about him. He slowly stood to his feet and groped his way along the wall in search of a light switch. A moment later the room was bathed in a dull light as he blinked against the pain it caused his eyes.

Pain.

He deserved the pain.

He crossed to the other side of the room, gazing at Jude. Her chest rose and fell as she breathed deeply. He could tell she was asleep.

Kneeling on the edge of the bed he reached across and gently moved her arm away from her face. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her lips turned down as her face betrayed the restless sleep she was experiencing.

He pulled away as if the sight had hurt him. He dropped her arm as if her skin had burnt him. He turned away from her, gasping as physical pain coursed through his chest, constricting his heart.

He had to fix this. There had to be a way… some way that he could repair the damage he'd done.

Somehow…

He placed the palms of his hands against the cool wall, resting his head against the cream wallpaper.

What had he done?

**Preview for Part 2: Desperate Conversations**

"Every time you touch me my skin crawls!" She found her voice and the words spewed out, the only thing betraying the emotions beneath her calm exterior, "I never understood that expression but now I do. It's as if that part of my skin wants to detach itself from my body and jump down the garbage disposal!" She gasped for air, her breathing, her words coming out in jagged gasps, "I can't breath when you're near me," She took a few steps back as if to illustrate her words. She backed into a table and leaned against it as if she couldn't stand without the additional support, "I can't… I can't look at you."


	2. Chapter 2: Desperate Conversations

A/N: Thanks to everyone who commented. Please continue to do so. I'll dare to be one of those obnoxious authors who points out the responses will dictate the speed at which I post the next installments of the story (Part 3 and 4 are already complete).

**_Part 2: Desperate Conversations_**

He'd slept on the sofa; without a blanket and his shoes still on. Sleep hadn't been the plan and he'd sat in the dark room until his eyes had fallen shut and he'd drifted into unconsciousness, his body drifting into a lying position.

When he awoke he could hear Jude in the kitchen. He ventured into the room but didn't announce his presence. She jumped when she turned and saw him standing there, dark circles under his eyes, his skin pale and his eyes fill of desperate hope and immense pain.

"Jude," He whispered hoarsely. He took a few steps toward her but she backed away. "Please," He whispered, his voice breaking, "Please talk to me."

She turned away from him. "Every time I look at you I see… I see…" She gasped, unable to complete the sentence.

He tried to touch her but she shoved his hand away.

"Every time you touch me my skin crawls!" She found her voice and the words spewed out, the only thing betraying the emotions beneath her calm exterior, "I never understood that expression but now I do. It's as if that part of my skin wants to detach itself from my body and jump down the garbage disposal!" She gasped for air, her breathing, her words coming out in jagged gasps, "I can't breath when you're near me," She took a few steps back as if to illustrate her words. She backed into a table and leaned against it as if she couldn't stand without the additional support, "I can't… I can't look at you."

His heart was breaking. He could swear he heard it cracking and shattering within his chest. He found his arms reaching for her but his feet refused to move. He was left reaching for her but feeling as if there were miles separating them.

"I can't… I can't forgive you," She whispered, "I want to. I'm trying but I can't. Not yet." She shook her head, "I'd tell you to leave but I…" She paused, looking away from him, "I can't breathe without you," tears filled her eyes at the statement that contradicted her earlier words. She brushed them away and they didn't return. The stoic, emotionless expression was once again present, "I'm stuck, Tommy."

At the lifeless utterance of his name he backed away, crashing into the wall behind him as his wild eyes searched hers.

She shrugged, her hands extended in front of her in a questioning motion, "What do I do?"

He couldn't answer the question for her; they both knew that.

She turned away from him, her hands palm down on the surface of the table as she leaned against it. A few moments passed and the silence was deafening. Finally she turned to face him. "Sleep in the guest bed room," She said in a monotone, "Use the guest bathroom. Don't speak to me, don't approach me, just give me space."

He finally spoke, "I could stay at a motel if-"

"No," She cut him off and shook her head, "Stay."

She left the room a few minutes later but he remained staring at the space she'd occupied long after her footsteps faded.

---

A week had passed, during which time Tommy had complied with Jude's request and given her space. They hadn't spoken since that day in the kitchen. He'd avoided being in the house as much as possible and when he was home he stayed confined to his room, leaving her the entire house to haunt without his presence.

He'd been racking his mind for justification for his actions, an excuse; anything but he always came up short. He still couldn't believe what he'd done. It seemed like a dream, like a scene from a movie he'd watched; it had to be someone else's life, someone else's actions.

His life's one goal became winning Jude back. He had to find a way to regain her trust, to prove to her that she still was the most important thing in his world.

He passed Jude in the foyer as she arrived home from lunch with Sadie. Her eyes didn't meet his as she strode past him, heading for the stairs.

"Jude," He called as he spun around to watch her.

She stopped but didn't turn.

He paused, now he was speaking he didn't really know what to say, "Have you… have you come to a conclusion?"

She sighed dramatically and spun around to face him. She stood on the fourth stair which offered her additional height to look down upon him, one hand gracefully resting on the railing, "No, Tommy, I haven't." Her expression implied boredom and her tone was one she might use for discussing bread or grass clippings.

"I want you to know," He took a few steps toward her and she backed two more steps up the stairs, an action that pained him though he tried not to let it show, "That I am going to prove to you that you can trust me. What happened was a temporary delusion, I don't even know what it was but I hate myself for it and I swear it will _never_ happen again." His eyes were earnest as he gazed up at her.

She shook her head, "Once upon a time I actually believed your promises." She turned to depart, taking a few more steps before his words interrupted her again.

"What should I do?" He asked, "Is there something I can do to prove it to you. I'll do anything! I'll cut off my foot if even if it would just be the start of you believing in me again. I'll cut it off just to see you smile again, to show some damn emotion." He stopped himself then. His frustration was getting the better of him.

She glanced over her shoulder at him, a sly smile on her lips, "I can think of an extremity that could do with being cut off." With that she continued up the stairs. He didn't interrupt again and cringed at the meaning of his words.

But there was a glimmer of hope. She'd smiled; a small and weak smile but one nonetheless.

**_Preview for Part 3: The Dance_**

"No," He cut her off. It was the first time he'd refused her on anything since the events of three months ago. He lowered his face to hers, pressing their foreheads together, the tips of their noses grazing slightly. She didn't pull away.


	3. Chapter 3: The Dance

**Part 3: The Dance**

It was at night that he missed her the most.

Her tendency to read in bed had always been a point of frustration for him and many a night he'd snapped at her to turn out the light or placed a pillow over his head in protest. Now he longed for that irritation.

He missed rolling onto her half of the bed during the night and being woken by the feeling of her warm body against his. He missed being able to reach over and pull her into his arms at a moments whim. No reason or excuse, just because he wanted to hold her.

He missed the whispered conversations in the darkness as they'd share their deepest secrets and biggest dreams. He knew every one of Jude's secrets and loved her for them all – no matter how dark or dangerous.

He missed the feeling of her breath against his bare skin as she'd snuggle up to his back in her sleep, or would rest her head on his shoulder.

He missed it all; every single moment.

The King Size guest bed was large, cold and lonely and the room screamed of his almost infidelities. Countless nights he would groan in frustration and head for her bedroom, pausing only at her door and smiling at rays of light that spilled out from under it is she read through her latest novel. Then he would silently depart to his lonely bed, his footsteps silent on the carpeted floor.

He wondered if she missed him too.

---

They didn't publicize the problems their marriage was experiencing and outside of Kwest and Sadie, no one knew. At work they acted happy and normal though if someone were observing closely they'd notice the absence of hugs or stolen kisses the two usually stared. They'd notice the blankness in Jude's eyes or the hollow desperation in Tommy's whenever they were together.

Tommy stopped going out with his friends in the evening. He and Jude had fought on many an occasion prior to 'the incident' about his late night partying and drinking. Now, in an attempt to prove himself, he stopped completely. He'd still spend time with his closest friends but either they'd come over to his place to watch a game on TV or share a beer or he'd go to theirs.

He knew she noticed and he knew it meant something to her, even if her expression never betrayed her feelings when she found him alone on the sofa reading a newspaper on a Friday night after Friday night.

He was devoted to her every want or need; taking time to deal with the small repairs around the house that she'd been nagging him about for months. He would go out and get the groceries each week to save her the job he knew she hated and he would cook her wonderful meals in the evenings.

He was there for her musically as he had been since she was fifteen though he found her frequently freezing him out whenever it was possible.

When New Years rolled around and Darius announced a masquerade ball to be held at G-Major for celebrity friends and business acquaintances alike, Tommy seized the opportunity greedily. Three months had passed since the last time Jude allowed him to touch her and the thought of holding her in his arms as they swayed to a slow song was entirely intoxicating.

He nervously waited in the foyer as she got ready in what had once been their room. He took in his reflection in a mirror, fixing his tie and running a hand through his hair as he waited for her to arrive. He turned in time to see her descend the stairs and the vision of her actually took his breath away.

Her dress was sleek and black; it was sleeveless with a long flowing skirt. It hugged every curve just the right amount, accentuating her perfect finger. Long silver earrings accentuated the length of her neck and her hair was up in a classy loose bun.

"You look stunning," He gasped as she arrived beside him at the bottom of the stairs.

"Thank-you," She turned away from him so he could slip her jacket over her shoulders and they departed for G-Major.

---

He felt jealousy constrict at his heart as Jude danced with Jamie, Kwest and Darius. His eyes followed her every move as his throat constricted. She hadn't paid him the slightest scrap of attention since their arrival and though he tried to push the thought away he wondered if maybe things really had died between them. He longed for some sign of where they stood; of what she felt - a glimmer of affection, the flames of passion anything but apathy.

Unable to hold back any longer he strode out onto the dance floor and cut in at the beginning of a dance. She flinched slightly as he placed a hand on her waist and took her hand in his. His eyes caught hers and refused to break the gaze. "Do you realize what song this is?" He whispered.

She glanced away momentarily before returning her eyes to his. She nodded weakly, "Our song."

He laced his fingers through hers and pulled her body closer to his, slowly moving with the music, his eyes still on hers. "Remember the first time we heard it?"

Her eyes sparkled, "Please, Tommy. Don't-"

"No," He cut her off. It was the first time he'd refused her on anything since the events of three months ago. He lowered his face to hers, pressing their foreheads together, the tips of their noses grazing slightly. She didn't pull away.

"It was our third date, if I remember correctly," His voice was husky and reassuring, not betraying the torment going on within him. "You looked so beautiful that night," His voice shook slightly, "We went to a fancy restaurant but got bored and left halfway through the meal. We spent the rest of the evening strolling down the streets before stopping at the docks. There was a full moon and the water was sparkling as it reflected the moon and stars above it. We sat down together and I pulled you close to me," He pulled her closer as he said this, hearing her gasp softly, "And we kissed, our first official kiss since we'd starting dating. It was electric and powerful and left me unable to think about anything but how completely in love with you I was."

He smiled slightly. Their faces were so close that their breath was mingling; he could smell the sweet scent of her perfume and feel the warmth of her skin through the fabric of her dress. "Some car pulled up at the other end of the dock and they had their music blasting. The notes drifted over the water to us at the exact moment I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you."

She gazed up at him, "You never told me that before."

"I'm sorry," He whispered. His apology was for each and every mistake he'd made in the years since. "I'm sorry," He repeated again.

The song ended and she pulled away, just as he'd plucked up the courage to kiss her. She took a few steps back, her eyes on his. "I-" She stopped and her gaze fell to her feet momentarily before she fled the dance floor.

He followed, uttering soft 'excuse me's' and 'sorry's' as he brushed past dancing couples. She cut through one of the studios, taking the same route as on her sixteenth birthday and it hit him that he'd hurt her so much worse then Shay had that night.

He found her on the fire escape as thunder rumbled above her ominously. She was leaning with her back to the railing, her hands at her sides, fingering the cool metal as she gazed up into the sky. She didn't notice his presence at first but when she did she was the first to speak, "I wish I could forget." She admitted.

He moved closer, pausing two steps from her and watching silently.

"I wish I could look at you and see _you_, not what I saw that day," She shook her head and he felt his heart plunge to his feet as he noticed the tears that were in his eyes.

Emotion.

For him.

_Because_ of him.

He grasped the railing, facing the opposite direction from her as their shoulders brushed slightly, "I'd give anything to go back and change it," He offered quietly.

"Was she worth it at least?" Jude asked bitterly.

He turned his head to gaze at her, shaking his head as he uttered the words: "She could never have been worth it."

"So you threw us away for some worthless one night stand?" She cried.

His hands reached for her desperately, grasping her shoulders as he held her at arm's length, "I wasn't thinking. I didn't think. I wouldn't have thrown us away for the world, I just… I got lost in a stupid moment and…"

"And you slept with some whore whose name you never even knew." She finished for him.

He shook his head, "I never slept with her."

"Because I interrupted," She exclaimed, "The pesky wife ruined the good time."

"I don't know, Jude. I'd like to say I would have stopped, that I wouldn't have done it but I don't know what I would have done. All I know is I didn't sleep with her and I thank God for that every day."

She turned away from him and his hands limply slid from her shoulders.

"I don't want anyone else, Jude" He said hoarsely, "I don't want anyone but you."

She shrugged dramatically, "You _had_ me, Tommy."

"Can't we start again?" He asked desperately, "Can't you give me one chance to be everything I promised, to prove to you that you're all I want till the day I die."

She shook her head, "It's not that easy."

The words were uttered in a hollow monotone and he realized once again that she'd hidden all emotion from him.

**Preview for Part 4: Back to life**

_Her chest rose and fell and he reached over to pull the strap of her slip back up over her shoulder a second after it fell down her arm. His hand lingered on her shoulder then slowly ran down to the small of her back. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on the exposed skin between her shoulder blades before leaving the room. _


	4. Chapter 4: Bring me to life

**Part 4: Back to Life**

He heard the soft groan from her room as he passed it later that night. Tentatively he pushed open the door and peered in.

She was curled up in the center of their bed. The blankets were twisted about and tossed aside, a thin black silk sheet and pink slip the only things covering her body. Her eyes were scrunched close and her fingers dug into her pillow as she groaned and twisted about.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly.

"No," She murmured as she rolled over again, the sheet falling away from her body. He walked over and gently placed a hand to her forehead. Her skin was hot and sticky.

"I think it was something I ate," She murmured, burying her face in her pillow.

He rubbed her back reassuringly and felt the tense muscles of her back beneath his hand. Her shoulders fell and for a moment she was completely still. "Can I get you anything?" He asked.

She suddenly sat bolt upright in bed, a hand clutched to her mouth, "A bucket," she gasped desperately.

He raced from the room and returned with a bucket from the laundry, arriving just in time for her to empty the contents of her stomach. He held her hair back as one hand rubbed a circular motion on her back. A moment later she weakly placed the bucket down next to the bed and lay down again, her hands cushioning her head.

He departed a moment later and returned with a damp cloth which he carefully placed over her forehead. Not sure of the reaction it would win, he crawled into bed next to her and continued to rub her back as her breathing slowed and her body relaxed. Periodically she would lunge for the bucket and moan as her body heaved. Eventually with nothing left to throw up she collapsed in the bed again.

Noticing her shiver he pulled the sheet up around her shoulders and watched as her eyelids drooped. A few moments later she fell into a restless sleep. He stayed where he was, continuing to rub her back and whisper comforting words, in the same manner he'd always done when she had nightmares or couldn't sleep. Finally she fell into a deep and peaceful sleep and her body was finally still.

Her chest rose and fell and he reached over to pull the strap of her slip back up over her shoulder a second after it fell down her arm. His hand lingered on her shoulder then slowly ran down to the small of her back. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on the exposed skin between her shoulder blades before leaving the room.

He emptied and rinsed the bucket and got a glass of water from the kitchen which he gently placed on her bedside table before slipping from the room and returning to his own for another lonely night in a cold and empty bed.

---

She didn't mention that night though he noticed the furtive glances she cast him that morning as he made coffee and she slipped into the room to retrieve an apple. He didn't acknowledge her presence, hoping she would say or do something that showed he had made some form of process.

When he realized she was about to leave without saying a word he interrupted her departure. "In the three years of our marriage have I been a bad husband?" As she opened her mouth to answer he cut her off, "Apart from that obvious one mistake. Have I ever hit you, or abused you verbally? Have I neglected or ignored you? Have I treated you cruelly in anyway?"

She shook her head, "You were perfect," She admitted softly then shook her head again, "Serves me right for believing in such a notion being possible in a human being, a male human being no less."

She began to pace slowly, not walking away but striding slowly from side to side. She put a finger to her lips as if in thought, "But then of course… this is assuming that 'the incident'," She drew quotation marks in the air with her hands, "was a one time thing."

His eyes widened at the meaning of her words, "Jude, I never-"

She cut him off with one raised hand, "I don't trust you remember? It's irrelevant what you say because-" She paused and leaned toward him like one about to share a secret, "I don't believe you."

He drew back as if he'd been stung, feeling a frustrated anger boiling within him. He strode a few steps away from her then spun around, "The truth isn't any less the truth just because you refuse to believe it. I never had sex with any woman but you."

She laughed bitterly, "What about love, Tommy? Did you 'make love' to another women? Careful wording can be such a valuable tool to an expert liar."

He smiled though it wasn't a happy smile or an amused smile, "You see that isn't possible," He said softly, "Because even if I had slept with another woman I couldn't have made love to her. It would have been a purely sexual experience for mutual selfish gratification. You're the only person in this world it could ever be an act of love with."

He then did something that surprised them both. He didn't want for a response, to carefully gauge her facial expressions and body language in search of some emotion that would allow him to read her. He turned and he left.

**Preview for Part 5: Maybe it is the end**

She shook her head, "I can't promise you anything and it's wrong to lead you on, to have you living in the guest bedroom in your own home." She shrugged, "Maybe we should separate, make it public and official and," Her words were barely a whisper, "See other people."


	5. Chapter 5: Maybe it is the end

**Part 5: Maybe it is the end**

"I want you Tommy, really I do. All the time I want to hold you and kiss you and… everything! I want us to be happy again, like we where. I want to come home and run into your arms. I want to share a bed with you. I want all of that and I'm sorry."

His features were awash with confusion.

"I'm sorry because it's my fault." She continued.

"Wait. No!" He wanted to pull her into his arms but settled for earnestly clasping her hand in both of his, "_Nothing_ is your fault! You did _nothing_ wrong. It was all me."

"But right now I'm the reason we're not together, Tom. Because I can't let go, I can't forget. I just can't trust you or let you in and I'm _so_ sorry." She glanced down at the floor, her expression still emotionless though her words held a note of earnest desperation, "Maybe it is the end."

His heart turned to glass, fell to the floor and shattered into a million pieces at her words, "No, Jude, please no."

She shook her head, "I can't promise you anything and it's wrong to lead you on, to have you living in the guest bedroom in your own home." She shrugged, "Maybe we should separate, make it public and official and," Her words were barely a whisper, "See other people."

He'd been shaking his head at her words as his heartbroken eyes continued to seek hers. She refused to look him in the eye. He finally released her hand which fell limply to her side and put a hand to his forehead. Turning slightly he glanced away, tears glistening in his eyes, "If… that's what you want," He tried to continue but seriously doubted his ability to say the words, to let her go. "If that's what would make you happy-" His voice broke and he covered his mouth with both hands, as if trying to hold in the sound.

He hated to cry. He had since he was a child. He'd always thought it showed weakness in a male. He hated so much to cry in front of Jude. He had to be strong, especially now when everything was his fault; the consequences of his own actions. He envied Jude her emotionless state.

She shook her head, "I… I don't want to but this isn't fair to you."

He turned back to her, ignoring the voice that screamed to hide his tears, to not let her see his weakness. His weakness… was her.

He took her hands again, "All I want is you. I'd happily live till my dying day in your guest bedroom if it meant I could just see you each day. Hell, I'd live in a musky leaky basement. _I only want you_."

---

He planted himself on the sofa for the evening, looking the part he'd never played – a tired, unhappy husband watching sports highlights; guzzling beer and inhaling potato chips and varying other artery blocking food.

The combination of bad food, boredom and sheer misery took its toll and he soon drifted into a half conscious state, his body stretched out on the sofa, one hand hanging loosely over the side.

He'd randomly punched a button on the remote control that took the TV to a blank channel – no images were displayed and the screen was an ever so slightly lit black. This offered the only light in the room, bathing everything in a virtually non existent eerie glow.

So deep was his lethargic state that he almost didn't notice Jude enter the room. She paused to lean against the doorframe, her head tilted to one side as she watched him.

He gazed at her through barely open eyes, knowing in the darkness she thought him asleep. He allowed her to continue believing that false fact.

She sighed, a sound laced with frustration and irritation as she scooped up the chip bags and empty beer bottles strewn on the floor by the sofa. Carefully balancing them in her arms she carried them from the room to deposit in the trash.

It tugged at Tommy's heartstrings; she was always suffering for his messes… his mistakes.

He remained immobile.

A few minutes later she returned, again pausing in the doorframe to gaze at him. He wished he could discern her expression but her face was in the shadows.

She glided toward him in motion so subtle and graceful it was as if she were floating. She paused by the side of the sofa, one hand reaching down to gently graze his cheek before pulling back with a slight sigh. Her other hand enclosed the first as if nursing a wound.

The moments she stood motionless beside him seemed to stretch on forever and then finally she moved. In one quick motion - as if pausing or taking time would allow questions and second guessing – she leaned down and lightly pressed her lips to his.

His eyes fluttered fully open at the action but she didn't notice, her own eyes tightly shut. He wanted to respond to the kiss but didn't want to start her or wake from the dream he told himself he must be having.

An agonizing five seconds passed and then he could fight it no longer. He pressed his lips to hers hungrily and one hand snaked up to cup the back of her head, bringing her face closer to his.

He felt her stiffen and physically recoil at the realization he was awake but refused to let her go. His other hand slid to the small of her back, pulling her down on top of him. He could feel her hesitation but tilted his head and caught her lips with his own before pulling back then pressing his mouth to hers again, parting her lips with his.

He felt her tension easing as her body relaxed against him, settling to a position that was half on the couch and half on him.

His fingers ran through her hair, savoring the silky feel of it against his skin. He savored the taste of her, the feeling of having her in his arms after so long, the fact that he could communicate the feelings and love in the physical not just the words that felt so inadequate.

With a ragged gasp she pulled away from him, her hands pushing against his chest – communicating a desperation he couldn't ignore. He instantly loosened his grip and let her go though the act caused both physical and emotional pain.

She stood to her feet, a hand pushing the hair away from her face as she stood with her back to him.

"Jude-"

"Not a word," She said firmly. She glanced at him and in the dim light he could just make out a forced smile as she tried to soften the blow of her words, "It never happened. Okay?"

The irony still took his breath away, long after she left the room.

**Preview for Part 5: Shatter**

_"You want to know how I feel?" Jude asked, "I feel like this," She grabbed another glass and with her gaze still on him, let it slip from her fingers to crash to the floor._


	6. Chapter 6: Shatter

**Part 6: Shatter**

A few more weeks passed with very little change to their relationship. Tommy could feel his frustration rising. He was mostly desperate for some sign; some way of knowing if he was making progress or losing the war.

After a long day without a word shared between the two he confronted her in the kitchen. She'd opened a bottle of wine and was searching through the cupboards for her favorite wine glass. A collection of glasses sat on the island in the center of the room next to a pile of plates still set out from unpacking the dishwasher.

Though he'd marched into the room with all the anger and frustration of a small cyclone it died on arrival. She didn't deserve his anger; the blame was still squarely placed at his doorstep.

Noticing a change in the atmosphere in the room she turned and noticed his presence for the first time. Not saying anything she ever so slightly raised an eyebrow before filling her glass with wine. Raising it to face level she saluted him ever so slightly before taking a sip. Though her eyes didn't betray what she was feeling he found the action condescending and resentful. Her emotions weren't painted across her features but his where. When would she stop ignoring that?

"Come on, Jude," He threw his hands into the air, "Give me something; anger, hatred, sadness – anything. Show some emotion."

Her cool gaze met his and without breaking it she tossed her wine glass to the tiled floor between them. He swore and leapt back as the glass shattered and fragments flew in all directions as red wine fell like blood on the cool white surface.

"You want to know how I feel?" Jude asked, "I feel like this," She grabbed another glass and with her gaze still on him, let it slip from her fingers to crash to the floor.

"This is how I felt when I found you," She scooped up two more glasses and threw one to the floor, "This is how I felt when I realized exactly what was going on," She held a glass in front of her face, gazing through the clear matter at him before letting it fall and shatter into hundreds of pieces.

He stood speechless as she picked up the pile of plates. He reached out to stop her but stopped, not because he noticed the warning anger in her eyes, or the sparkle that warned she was about to start screaming – neither was there. It was the deadness in her eyes that stopped him dead in his tracks.

"This is how I've felt ever since," She dropped the pile on the floor. The plates shattered all but one which bounced sadly before landing on the wine and glass stained floor.

She motioned to the one unbroken plate with her foot. It was still in one piece but an ugly crack ran through the middle. "That's how I fear I'll feel for the rest of my life," She said lifelessly with an almost indifferent shrug of her shoulders.

In one fluid motion she reached for the plate and holding onto each side of the crack, she wrenched it in half then let the pieces slip from her hands where they too smashed onto the floor.

She shrugged, finally tearing her eyes from his and surveying the damage she'd caused. Her fingers wrapped round the neck of the wine bottle and for a moment he feared she'd hurl that too. Instead she picked it up and took it with her. As she brushed past him she glanced one last time at the reddened glass shards sparkling in the fluorescent lighting of the room, "It's not emotion but it'll do."

---

Tommy sat on the bottom stair watching darkly as Jude passed him occasionally as she prepared to go out. It was a week since their debacle in the kitchen and things had been strained ever since.

She ran upstairs to retrieve a pair of shoes and hopped about as she slipped them on. She checked her reflection in the mirror and messed with her hair nervously before disappearing into the kitchen to get a drink. She was shrugging on her jacket when Tommy finally spoke up.

"So who's this guy you're going to see again?" He asked. Sitting there on the staircase, one hand over the baluster, he felt like a small child hiding on the staircase and watching his parents as they fought below; distinct memories he had from his childhood.

Jude rolled her eyes, "He's an interviewer for Rolling Stone. We're doing an interview for the next issue."

"And you had to get dressed up for the interview?" He scowled as his eyes roved her body both admiring and disliking the short length of the dress which clung to her figure.

"We're going out to dinner at Ruby," Jude named the fanciest restaurant in town.

"I don't like it," Tommy muttered.

She shrugged, "I don't care." Walking over to him, she crouched down till she was at face level with him, "Have you stopped to consider your current paranoia regarding my faithfulness is actually rooted in the _lack_ of your own?" She tilted her head to the side and smiled coldly.

"That's not fair," He growled, "I trust you!"

She stood up again, straightening her skin tight skirt, "Right…"

Feeling anger welling up within him – not so much at Jude but at the frustrating nature of the situation – he stood to his feet suddenly and roughly grabbed her shoulders, spinning her to face him. Just as the doorbell chimed the arrival of her dinner date, he leaned down and kissed her; a breathtaking, hard kiss that left her taking a few staggering steps backward to retain her balance when he released her. She gazed up at him with clouded, unreadable eyes before rushing to the door and soon after leaving.

---

**Teasers for Part 7: All the romantic gestures...**

_She spun to face him, "Tommy, I don't think-" "Please, Jude?" He begged plaintively, "Let me just do this for you. Just go along with it, just for tonight?"_

A/N: Cookies for Reviewers ;)


	7. Chapter 7: All the romantic gestures

Sorry for neglecting this story lately. I wrote two chapters in a row last night so there should be another update coming soon. Please leave reviews and let me know what you think the characters should be thinking or doing at this point.

**Part 7: All the romantic gestures…**

Checking his watch, Tommy brushed at the layer of flour covering his black shirt. Jude had been at an album photo shoot since early that morning and was due home in half an hour. He'd been working the last couple of hours on a delicious meal for her. A talent for French cooking ran in his family and he'd searched out his mother's old recipe book the previous night; planning a romantic gesture he hoped would help win back at least a piece of his wife's heart.

He checked the turkey, applying another layer of glaze and turning the oven down slightly, before placing some vegetables on to simmer. With everything set in the kitchen he raced up stairs and showered, shaved and applied cologne. He felt a little silly as he buttoned on a crisp white shirt then fiddled with a tie. He hated to dress formally but Jude loved it when he did. He eyed the suit jacket with distaste before throwing it over his shoulder and racing back downstairs.

It was fifteen minutes or so till Jude was due home and Tommy tossed the jacket on a seat before setting the dinner table with their finest china and silverware before lighting two golden candles in the center and putting a smooth jazz CD on to play. He was just taking the Turkey out of the oven and setting it on the bench when he heard Jude's car pull up.

He laughed at the nervous flutter of butterflies in his stomach as he shrugged on the suit jacket and grabbed a single white rose and raced to meet Jude at the door.

Her eyes widened as he swung open the door as she approached and extended the rose.

"What's this?" She murmured as she accepted the rose and her eyes took in the clothes he was wearing.

"I made dinner," He lightly rested a hand on her shoulder as he ushered her into the house. "There's a dress waiting upstairs for you."

She took a few steps forward and peered into the dining room, spotting the dinner table. She spun to face him, "Tommy, I don't think-"

"Please, Jude?" He begged plaintively, "Let me just do this for you. Just go along with it, just for tonight?"

She sighed, looking down at her feet momentarily before nodding dejectedly and ascending the staircase.

He returned to the kitchen and served up two plates, setting them at the table he then poured two glasses of white wine in two newly acquired wine glasses. Upstairs Jude would find a stunning new evening dress that Sadie had helped him choose out. A new diamond necklace rested in a jewelry box laid next to the dress and on the floor was a matching pair of shoes.

Finally with nothing to occupy his nervous hands, Tommy returned to the foyer to wait Jude's arrival. He ran a hand through his hair and straightened his tie before casting a silent, desperate prayer heavenward that the night would be a success.

As she descended the stairs, one hand gracefully resting on the railing, she took his breath away. Her hair was still styled into a classy loose bun from the photo shoot and the necklace sparkling around her neck brought out both the whites of her eyes and the soft color of the dress. She slowed as she reached the bottom of the stairs, pausing in front of him. "It's…" She glanced down at her dress, shrugging slightly, "It's beautiful."

He smiled slightly and took her hand in his. Leaning forward he placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand before guiding her toward the dining room, "No, you're beautiful."

---

"It was delicious," Jude remarked shyly as she placed her knife and fork down on her plate and glanced over at Tommy nervously. Without the distraction of eating they were left alone together with nothing but conversation to pass the time.

He dabbed at his mouth with his serviette and nodded, equally nervous, "I'm glad you liked it."

Jude looked down at her plate, swaying softly in place to the melody of the soft jazz playing in the room. He watched her, savoring the moment and soaking in every detail; the candlelight reflecting in her hair, the curve of her shoulder, the way the diamonds on her necklace sparkled with her movements.

He found himself standing up and walking over to her chair. She glanced up at him, surprised, and their eyes met. He extended a hand to her, "Dance with me?" He whispered.

She gulped, then slowly took his hand, letting him pull her to her feet and over to a clear spot in the room. She wrapped her arms loosely around his neck and he did the same with her waist. They barely moved to the music, swaying only slightly with their eyes fixed on each other.

Summoning up the courage with their faces mere inches away from one another he whispered, "Can I kiss you?"

Her eyes flickered but didn't break his gaze. She finally nodded her head slightly and tilted her head as his lips gently brushed against hers. It wasn't an urgent kiss or even a passionate kiss. It was slow, soft and tentative. As he held her Tommy almost felt as if he were holding a fragile rose. He was afraid to bruise or break her as his actions had really been the cause of the broken glasses and plates in the kitchen not long earlier. He was afraid to scare her away, to cause damage that would send them multiple steps backward and so, even though it was the last thing he wanted, he pulled away after a few seconds, resting his forehead against hers as he exhaled slowly.

He saw her smile tentatively and felt her shaking slightly as she lowered her head and rested it on his shoulder.

A few minutes later, when the song ended, she pulled away. Her hands slid from their spot around his neck and he felt himself shiver at the sudden absence of warmth from the nearness of her body. She walked over the CD player and turned it off then walked over to the table and blew out the candles. The room was lit only by dim light from the street lights as she walked over to him, her eyes searching his.

He knew somehow that this was a breakthrough he'd been waiting for. She was sizing him up and questioning if she could let him in again. He returned her gaze without so much as blinking, trying to communicate all his love and apologies in that gaze.

Finally she reached out and took his hand, her small delicate fingers wrapping around his. She started walking from the room, pulling him with her, through the house and up the stairs and down the hallway. She glanced over her shoulder at him, that same emotionless expression still on her face but a glimmer of doubt still in her eyes.

She paused at the door of her bedroom and he stopped a foot away from her. She smiled softly as she reached up and stroked his cheek. "Will you stay with me tonight?" She asked, "I can't… do anything more then this but just sleep here tonight? Don't expect or ask anything. I can't-"

He cut off her words as he lowered his head and softly kissed her on the cheek, "I understand," He whispered.

**Preview for Part 8: So Sorry**

_Jude turned to him, outrage in her eyes, "I should have gone with the band. I should have gone with the band." She repeated, her eyes darkening as she walked over and shoved him. _

_He rolled with the shov; his expression equally annoyed but inside his heart was fluttering; she was showing emotion. She was angry with him. "Fine, you should have gone with the band! You're right, okay!"_


	8. Chapter 8: So Sorry

**Part 8: So sorry**

Tommy woke before Jude the next morning. He lay on his side watching as she slept, admiring the elegant curve of her neck and the disheveled state of her hair. He'd never seen her look more beautiful.

She woke as the soft morning sun shifted and shone through the window across the bed. She blinked and rolled over her, momentary surprise in her eyes to find him next to her. "Hi," She whispered.

"Hi," He responded. Again he was nervous and unsure of what action to take.

"Um," She glanced away, "I-" She stopped, obviously unable to complete her sentence. She let out a shaky sigh and closed her eyes tightly, "I wish this wasn't so hard." She whispered, so softly he almost didn't hear her.

His hand slid along under the blankets till they found hers. Taking it in his he squeezed lightly, "I'm not expecting anything, I'm not asking anything. I just want you to be happy."

She nodded slightly, still not looking at him. He got the distinct impression she wanted him to leave so he slowly slid from the bed, "I'll go make us some breakfast."

---

"I should have got a ride with SME," Jude remarked, her arm resting on the car door as she watched the passing scenery outside the window.

It was a week since their dinner and subsequent sleep-only night together. Rather then being the step forward Tommy had hoped for, it had served as only a preview after which their life returned to the norm of the last six months. Jude didn't ask but he returned to sleeping in the guest room, knowing his presence in their bedroom made her uncomfortable. He opted to wait his time, hoping for a day when she'd be comfortable in such a close proximity to him.

They were currently on their way to a concert a few hours from Toronto. The band had gone on ahead and though Jude could have gotten a ride with them Tommy had virtually pleaded for her to let him drive her. A couple of hours alone together in the car had seemed like a good opportunity for them to talk but he soon found that very little actual talking was happening. Considering her rule of emotional bankruptcy he was receiving a surprising amount of attitude from Jude. It seemed nothing he did that day was right.

He felt his heart plummet as a popping sound echoed under the car. Jude glanced over at him questioningly and he shrugged apologetically, "I think we blew a tire," He explained as he pulled the car over to the side of the road. They were taking a back road which Tommy had hoped Jude would find idyllically beautiful and romantic. It was a warm summer day without a cloud in the sky and they were passing green pastures and slow running streams.

Jude rolled her eyes, "I knew I should have gone with the band," She remarked again.

Suppressing an angry retort Tommy climbed out of the car and inspected the damage to the tire. He rifled through the trunk, clearing access to the spare tire and cringing at the sound of Jude's car door opening and her approaching footsteps. By the time she reached him he was slowly closing the trunk and turning to lean against it.

"Why aren't you taking out the tire?" Jude asked.

He glanced down at the road, kicking at a loose rock, "Because it's flat." He responded with a cringe.

Jude threw her hands up into the air, uttering an out of character flurry of swear words before yelling to the herd of lazy cows in the corresponding paddock, "Why didn't I go with the damn band?"

Tommy pushed away from the car, "Would you stop saying that?" He yelled.

Jude turned to him, outrage in her eyes, "I should have gone with the band. I should have gone with the band. I should have _gone_ with the band!" She repeated, her eyes darkening as she walked over and shoved him.

He rolled with the shove; his expression equally annoyed but inside his heart was fluttering; she was showing emotion. She was angry with him. "Fine, you should have gone with the band! You're right, okay!"

She kicked at the deflated car tire before opening the back door and grabbing her purse.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Walking," She remarked with a defiant toss of her head, "I'm bound to get there quicker on my own two legs then any way you could offer." She set off walking at a fast speed and he was left to quickly lock the car and hurry to catch up with her.

"It could be miles to the next town," He pointed out.

Her only response was an angry glare from eyes glittering with rage.

"Let me at least take your bag," He asked, reaching out to take it.

She pulled away from him, "Don't touch me!" She yelled.

"I wasn't going to touch you. I was going to carry your bag!" He responded angrily, fighting the urge to raise his voice.

"Well I don't want you to carry my bag!" She yelled back, "I'm not made of glass!"

"I never said you were," He stopped walking and watched her departing figure, his shoulders drooping before he found a new rush of energy and ran to catch up with her. He reached for her bag again, egging on her anger. She pulled away again, sidestepping off the road and into the long grass to get away from him. He followed and placed a hand on her shoulder. He was expecting her response and didn't even flinch as she wrenched away, turning to face him as she did so and hurling her bag at him with as much force as she could manage.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" She yelled.

He walked over to her, invading her personal space and standing so close they were practically touching. Her eyes widened and she placed two hands on his chest, trying to shove him away. He braced himself and didn't move. She tried to walk away but he grabbed her arm, holding her back.

She began to scream random words and profanities as she pounded her fists against his chest, his arms, even at times and his face. "You creep!" She yelled, "You lying, cheating, tire deflating creep!" There was a glitter of tears in her eyes as she slapped him, "You promised me everything and you didn't mean it!" She pounded both hands against him, "I gave you my heart, I gave you everything and you just tossed it away! I trusted you! I actually trusted you! I was better off not trusting anyone!"

She was losing energy, losing anger and he caught her wrists as she hurled them lifelessly at him. "Let me go," She whispered, her voice dissolving into sobs as her knees buckled and he slowly lowered her to the ground. He wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed loudly. The sound was that of a heart breaking, a life being torn to shreds and nearly a year of suppressing every emotion she'd felt.

He rubbed her back and kissed the top of her forehead as she cried, "I'm _so_ sorry," He whispered, "I'm so, so sorry."


	9. Chapter 9: Flying Objects

**Part 9: Flying Objects**

He held her as she cried and considering the perfect day he couldn't explain away the tears on his own cheeks to rain or any other natural phenomenon. It was an entirely unnatural and rare occurrence; Tom Quincy was crying.

Finally, when she no longer possessed the energy to cry any longer, Jude pushed away from him. She slowly stood to her feet and stretched, refusing to look in his eyes. She shaded her eyes with one hand and looked up into the sky. "It's going to be dark soon," She declared quietly.

He leaned back in the grass, propping himself up on his elbows as he peered up at her, "We're not going to talk?"

She shook her head wordlessly.

"Jude, we _need_ to talk."

"It's going to get dark, we're stranded in the middle of nowhere," She grabbed her purse and pulled out her cell phone, only to nod in grim victory, "and there's no cell phone reception. Typical!" She hurled the cell onto the ground and Tommy leapt to the side to avoid being hit by the flying object. He wasn't sure if he should be overjoyed or afraid of the fact that her emotions, specifically her anger weren't yet expired.

"We could camp out," He suggested.

"Not freakin' funny," She remarked with an icy glare as she began to pace back and forth on the side of the road.

"Alright, okay, stop! You're making me dizzy!" He instructed as he jumped to his feet and waved for her to stop. She did, looking at him expectantly; waiting for him to offer a solution. "I think there's a bed and breakfast around her somewhere," He said slowly.

Her eyebrows rose in surprise, "Oh? And you know this how?"

He shrugged, "I looked it up online this morning. I was thinking maybe on the way back from the concert we could stay there."

Her eyes widened and she swore loudly, "The concert! Crap!" She glanced at her watch, "It starts in twenty minutes."

He took a few steps back, "We're still an hour from the city. We couldn't possibly make it."

She put her hands to her head and kicked at a rock, "I've never missed a concert," She muttered. She turned to him, a flash of anger present in her eyes as she opened her mouth to speak.

"Please don't say you should have gone with the band again," He begged.

She gritted her teeth and hurled her bag at him for a second time before storming down the road back toward the car.

"Ow! Would you stop doing that?" He yelled as he ran after her.

"What? Hurting you?" She yelled over her shoulder.

He grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him, "Yeah! Stop hurting me and _stop_ running away from me!"

She shook her head and smiled sardonically, "Running away, Tommy? That's rich coming from you and _you_ hurt me! I have _every_ right to hurt you."

His eyes softened and he nodded, "Okay, yeah, you do." He spread his arms, "Go ahead. Hit me, punch me, pinch me; whatever you want. It's your right."

She rolled her eyes and turned to walk to the car. He raced ahead and stepped in front of her, blocking her path as he once again spread his arms. She crossed her arms over her chest, "I don't want to hit you Tommy."

He tilted his head to the side, the smallest of smiles playing on his lips, "Your handbag begs to differ."

She threw her eyes skyward, sighing heavily.

"It's fine, really," He said sincerely, "I don't think there's anything you could do to me that could hurt more then the regret I've been feeling this last year or the pain of knowing I've hurt you, that I've damaged our relationship and that inkling of fear that maybe we won't be able to fix things between us."

She'd been staring a spot on the horizon as he made his confession but slowly her eyes drifted back to his, gazing at him wordlessly, sizing him up. Finally she nodded dismissively before turning back to the car. She took small, half-hearted steps, taking her time to reach her destination. Unsure of what to say or do next, he backtracked and retrieved her cell phone and purse from the grass before running to catch up with her.

She was lying on the hood of the car, her feet still on the ground as she basked in the ebbing rays from the sun. Her T-shirt had ridden up a little, revealing a thin strip of cream skin on her stomach and one hand was shading her eyes as she gazed up at Tommy. "Thanks," She muttered with a shrug as she saw what he was holding.

He nodded and deposited the bag in the backseat of the car. He figured it was a safer option than allowing her to have it back. Odds where she'd hurl it at him a number of times before the night was over.

"So how far do you think it is till this bed and breakfast?" She asked as she yawned sleepily.

He glanced over his shoulder at her as he leaned against the side of the car. He saw the telling droop in her eyelids and knew she was tired. He sighed, "Probably a few miles."

There was no flurry of anger at the information. She just closed her eyes in a defeated fashion, allowing herself to slip down the smooth surface of the car a little further. "Fix this." She murmured.

He glanced back at her, "Sorry?"

She opened her eyes and fixed her condescending gaze on him, "I said _fix this_ Tommy. You're a big, strong, intelligent," She played with the last word sarcastically, rolling it around on her tongue before spitting it out, "brave man. Find a solution to this problem." She pushed away from the car and made her way around to the passenger side. She opened the door and sat down inside. She leaned over and turned on the car radio to a station she knew he hated, turning the music up to it's loudest volume before leaning back in the seat to wait for him to fix it.

---

Tommy swore under his breath as a thorn dug in through his jeans and pricked the skin on his leg. He'd left Jude at the car and gone in search of a solution to their problem. He wasn't exactly sure what he was looking for but when he saw light reflecting off what appeared to be a rooftop he'd ventured from the road and made his way through some scrub in the general direction of the building.

He clambered up a bank and through some pine trees before reaching a small clearing, in the center sat a wood cabin and by the looks of things, it wasn't currently in use. He walked over to the front door and knocked just in case, then brushed away cobwebs from one of the windows to peer inside. White sheets where strewn over the various furniture in the one room building and there was a layer of dust present that showed the cabin was probably only used as a holiday resort.

Jude wasn't going to be happy but then it had been a long time since she'd been happy and Tommy was coming to adjust to the fact, as much as he hated it.

He started back to the car, racking his mind for a romantic or exciting spin to the scenario. The romance was probably out of the question considering their current situation and he was pretty sure Jude was too tired and cranky to embrace the normally adventurous aspects of her personality.

She was lying back in her seat, her eyes closed as soft classical music drifted from the car to Tommy's approaching figure. He took a deep, strengthening breath before tapping lightly on her window and bracing for a possible onslaught.

She jumped before and glanced about her warily before spotting her very pensive husband. "What?" She called through the window, not making a move to unlock.

"Could you unlock the door?" He asked patiently.

"Have you fixed it?" She asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.

He shrugged, "Maybe."

---

**Preview for Part 10**

_Tommy was pacing a few feet away from her, running a hand through his hair and making a complete mess of what had been a perfectly styled do. He glanced over at her, his expression fierce. He kicked at a nearby tree trunk. "This is ridiculous!" He yelled._


	10. Chapter 10: Breaking down

**Part 10: Breaking down**

Jude sighed under the weight of her backpack as she clambered over the wooden fence that lined the road. It was becoming a beautiful evening and they were in a stunning setting. It could have been an exciting and enjoyable trip, but it wasn't.

"It's just up that mound and through the trees," Tommy remarked as he pointed over her shoulder. "So what's in that bag anyway?"

She shrugged as she jumped down to the ground, "Just some rock star essentials. A change of clothes, toothpaste and a toothbrush, some snack food, some water, a water gun in case the SME guys play up…"

He grinned, "And it weighs a ton right?"

She nodded with a grimace.

"But you won't let me carry it, right?" He sighed.

She continued to nod in agreement and began to walk ahead of him. "You're finally catching on, Quincy," She remarked casually as she began clambering up the slope that led to the small patch of forest.

"At least it's a great view," He remarked casually a moment or two later. His eyes flittered around the field they were just leaving before resting on Jude in front of him.

She glanced back in time to see the location of his eyes and catch the meaning of his words. She rolled her eyes and pulled the previously mentioned small hand held water gun from her pocket. Before he'd even noticed what she was doing she'd aimed it between his eyes and let fire.

"Hey!" He spluttered as he brushed the water away.

She deposited the gun back in her pocket and grabbed hold of a tree trunk to pull her self up the last steep incline. "I hate nature." She remarked.

Tommy grinned to himself as he fell into step beside her as they walked through the trees. "How could you hate nature? It's so fresh and exciting."

She brushed some cobwebs from her hair and sneezed as pollen floated through the air, "And dirty and-" She let out a yelp as her foot connected with a tree root and she fell to the ground.

"Are you alright?" He crouched down beside her, reaching out to help pull her up but she swatted his hand away. She grimaced in pain as she pulled herself up into a sitting position and began to examine her ankle.

"I think I twisted it," She finally remarked slowly.

"Can you walk?"

She brushed his hands away and used a tree branch to pull herself to her feet.

"Let me help you," He pleaded but she shoved his hands away, yet again. Closing her eyes she kept her hands in front of her in a defensive manner, not allowing him to get any closer.

"Don't." She whispered quietly. She took a deep breath then opened her eyes again. She slowly put weight on her foot then winced in pain as it gave out beneath her. Tommy reached forward to catch her as she tipped toward the ground but she shot him a killer glare and grabbed a tree to steady her self. "I don't want your help." She informed him, if the fact itself hadn't already become obvious.

"You're hurt," He remarked forlornly, "You don't have to do this alone."

She smiled bitterly and used the tree to pull herself back up into a standing position, "I kinda do, actually," She remarked with a defiant toss of her head, "I've been getting really used to this on my own thing lately."

"You're the one who's been pushing me away," The bitter words slipped from his lips before he had the opportunity to better think them through.

Her eyes were flashing as she fixed her gaze on him, "_Your_ actions, pushed _me_ away." She spat. Using the anger as strength she took a sudden, jolting step forward, allowing her weight to fall on her injured foot for the briefest of seconds before leaping back to her strong foot. She visibly winced in pain, and bent forward, beads of sweat dotting her forehead.

"Jude," Her name was almost a pained whimper as he stood a few feet from her, desperately longing to offer some form of support.

She shook her head, looking down at the ground, "I can't lean on you Tommy; don't you understand?" She took anther step but placed her weight on her bad foot for too long and started to topple forward. She spun around as she grabbed onto another tree trunk and slid to the ground. Cursing under her breath she slapped the palm of her hands against the ground and a waft of dust flittered up, marring the clear air.

Tommy spun away from her, kicking the ground angrily as he swore loudly. He put a hand over his eyes as he tilted his head up to the sky, feeling the last dieing rays of warmth from the sun as the darkness overtook it.

He heard a whimper followed by a few grunts and turned to see Jude pulling herself to her feet with the aid of a branch on the tree. She leaned against the tree, her injured leg bent at the knee and the other supporting her weight. She glanced about her, eyeing the tree trunks. A moment later she lunged at the next tree, her arms just reaching it before she had to put weight on her bad foot. She proceeded with this bizarre hopping leap until she'd run out of trees that were close enough together. She leaned against another tree trunk, breathing heavily. Her eyes were closed and she was shivering in the cool dusk air.

Tommy was pacing a few feet away from her, running a hand through his hair and making a complete mess of what had been a perfectly styled do. He glanced over at her, his expression fierce. He kicked at a nearby tree trunk. "This is ridiculous!" He yelled.

A small smile played on Jude's lips but she didn't open her eyes. "No duh," She remarked as she slid down the tree till she was sitting on the forest floor.

Tommy glanced from her pained features to the path ahead. He didn't want to see her suffering any longer but knew from the glimmer in her eyes that she still wouldn't accept his help. "I'm going to go ahead and set up a fire," He remarked.

Jude's eyes widened in fear as she glanced about nervously, "But it could be dangerous alone out here…"

He rolled his eyes, "Its rural Canada, Jude. Not the Kalahari."

"There could be bears and Mountain lions…" She continued to tick off dangerous animals on her fingers.

He glanced through the trees to the farmland that surrounded them; highly doubting she was in any danger. When his gaze returned to Jude, she was sitting in awkward silence. She crossed her arms defiantly and shook her head, "Fine, go and leave me here. I'll be okay."

He saw the flicker of fear in her eyes and the furtive glances she kept shooting at him when she thought he wasn't looking. He walked over and knelt down in front of her. "I'm not going anywhere," He assured her softly, gently lifting her chin with one finger.

There was definite relief in her eyes as she swatted his hand away angrily, "I _told you_ not to touch me," She spat as she pushed away from the tree trunk, sliding on the seat of her pants till she was in the center of the path.

He stepped back, his arms raised warily as he eyed her. "What on earth are you doing?" He asked.

She used her arms to slide her body backward. Her bad leg she kept straight and slightly raised in the air so her foot didn't hit the ground and the other leg she used to push herself backward. She was moving at a steady pace but grimacing as sharp stones and sticks dug into her hands.

"You're seriously going to do that?" Tommy asked.

She shrugged as she continued.

"You know you're wearing your favorite pair of jeans right? And that's going to completely wreck them."

She glanced down to see that she was in fact wearing her favorite black jeans. Her face fell and for a second it looked as if she was about to cry. That was all the encouragement he needed and before she could realize what he was doing or protest, Tommy leaned down and scooped her up into his arms.

"Put me down!" She yelled, as she pounded a fist against his shoulder.

"This is absolutely and utterly ridiculous!" Tommy remarked firmly. "At this rate it'll be dark before we get to the cabin and we'll get lost all because you were too damn stubborn to accept my help!"

"I don't _want_ your help!" She yelled she pounded her fists at his chest and swung her legs about, almost throwing him off balance. It was all he could do not to drop her.

"Stop it or I'll drop you." He muttered menacingly into her ear.

"So drop me already!"

Growling angrily he switched from carrying her bridal style and threw her over his shoulder. She let out a yelp of surprise then started to pound her fists against his back instead. He didn't mind the mild pain. He just smiled to himself as he held her legs still so she couldn't kick him. "Just enjoy the ride, Mrs. Quincy." He remarked calmly as he proceeded to the cabin.

**Preview for Part 11: If the door was locked…**

_He spun around to face her, closing the small gap between them as he leaned down. He placed a hand on the armrests of the chair on either side of her and pushed his face to within centimeters of hers, "Yeah, I got that." He smirked as he adopted a Clark Gable style accent, "But frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!" He pushed away from the chair, causing it to tip a little and Jude's eyes widened as she reached out to balance herself. She sat in silence for a few moments, eyeing Tommy warily. His goal had been achieved. He'd thrown her off and now she wasn't sure what to expect or just how far she could push him._

**A/N: Please review**


	11. Chapter 11: If the door was locked

**Part 11: If the door was locked…**

As the cabin appeared on the horizon, Tommy was faced with another problem. Though this problem wasn't quite as formidable and scary as the blonde haired firecracker currently over his shoulder and screaming every obscenity she'd ever heard of. No, Jude was the scariest thing in the world at the moment but his newfound problem still remained alarming due to the fact that it wasn't going to please Jude.

He crossed the clearing to the front of the cabin and slowly lowered Jude to an old wooden chair that sat on the front verandah. She glared up at him as he pulled away, crossing her arms over her chest and jutting her lower lip out in a childlike pout. "I could charge you for that," She remarked, "It's practically kidnapping."

He rolled his eyes as he strolled away from her, nodding in agreement, "Right. I'm sorry Mr. Police Officer," He remarked in a sing-song sarcastic voice, "I was just trying to save my poor defenseless wife from the scary bears and mountain lions, and the even scarier fact that she was about to ruin her favorite pair of jeans. Please don't charge me for doing my job as a husband and helping her when she was in need."

"I didn't _ask_ for your help!"

He spun around to face her, closing the small gap between them as he leaned down. He placed a hand on the armrests of the chair on either side of her and pushed his face to within centimeters of hers, "Yeah, I got that." He smirked as he adopted a Clark Gable style accent, "But frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!" He pushed away from the chair, causing it to tip a little and Jude's eyes widened as she reached out to balance herself. She sat in silence for a few moments, eyeing Tommy warily. His goal had been achieved. He'd thrown her off and now she wasn't sure what to expect or just how far she could push him.

"Why aren't we _inside_ the cabin?" She finally asked softly, voicing the one question he'd hoped she'd never ask.

He paced away from her, scratching the back of his head as he glared up at the darkening sky, "Because it's locked." He finally remarked softly.

"So unlock it." She remarked as if it where the most simple solution possible, as if she were surprised he hadn't thought of it already.

He glanced over his shoulder and tossed an angry glare in her general direction.

She shrugged defiantly, "You're _supposed_ to be fixing it."

"Yeah, about that, I'm starting to wonder why I'm bothering. Your charming disposition and delightful company isn't exactly inspiring some fantastic and miraculous solution to a problem that wasn't actually _my fault_!"

She frowned sympathetically, "I'm sorry," She remarked, her voice dripping with sarcasm, "My company really does leave something to be desired. Maybe when we get a cell phone reception again you could call your lady friend and invite her over?"

He groaned, and put his hands to his face, his fingers digging into his forehead. He slowly counted to ten, willing away the anger that was only going to push Jude away and create a bigger rift between the two. Finally he turned back to her, a charming smile on his face. "I only want you." He said softly, trying to communicate the earnestness of his feelings with his eyes as he repeated the words he'd been trying to make her understand for nearly a year.

She rolled her eyes and pointedly looked away from him. She shivered in the cool night breeze and he was once again reminded of the task at hand. He began to search under pot plants, windowsills, and welcome mats in search of a key but to no avail.

Jude was leaning forward in her chair, her chin propped up on one arm as she watched him through hazily lidded eyes. Stifling a yawn she smiled sweetly. "No luck, honey?"

Biting his tongue to stifle an angry retort he marched over to the edge of the clearing and picked up a large rock. Jude's eyes widened and she watched wordlessly as he walked back over to the building and hurled the rock through a window.

"I can't believe you just did that!" She finally murmured.

"I'll pay for the repairs," He explained as he carefully put his arm through the gaping window and reached down for the latch. The window swung open and a moment later, with a few grunts and curses, he'd pulled himself through, a few moments after that the front door swung open and he smiled proudly at Jude.

Casting her eyes skyward, she softly tapped two fingers against the palm of her hand in a halfhearted clap. "Yay?" She remarked sarcastically. He marched over to her and she slunk back in her chair. "Don't even think about i-" Her words were cut off as he swooped her up into his arms.

"Can we do this the nice way or do I have to sling you over my shoulder again?" He asked, tilting his head to gaze into her eyes.

She bit down on her bottom lip, her eyes still sparkling with anger but allowing the smallest touch of submission. She didn't say a word, so taking that as consent he carried her across the wooden floorboards and through the front door. "We never did do this when we got married, did we?" He remarked as he carried her over the threshold.

She shook her head angrily and he instantly regretted bringing up the topic. "No. You were so drunk from everything you drank at the reception that you barely managed to stagger over the threshold yourself before passing out on the floor."

He gazed down at her apologetically, "That wasn't very romantic of me."

She shrugged, "I get it. You were scared. Commitment always scared you and there you'd gone and committed to me for a lifetime. Of course you had to drink yourself into oblivion to drown out the panic running through your veins." Hurt laced her words.

He shook his head as he slowly walked across the room. "You're right. I was scared but it wasn't the commitment that scared me. I was scared that I'd be a disappointment to you, that I'd let you down, that you wouldn't be happy with me, that you'd regret choosing to spend your life with me, that I couldn't protect you and look after you the way you deserved to be treated."

"That you'd break the vows you made?" She interrupted, "Well you were right to worry, because you did."

There was that crushing pain around his heart again. That detestable thing called guilt. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

He hated having to release her from his arms as he lowered her down onto the sofa but in comparison it seemed the moment couldn't have come sooner for Jude. She instantly inched away from him, pulling her legs up onto the sofa next to her so there was no room for him. "I'm hungry." She remarked casually, fixing her eyes on him expectantly.

---

**Preview for Part 12: Possession is nine-tenths of the law**

_He pretended not to notice how Jude had wrapped his jacket tightly around her self and buried her nose into the collar, inhaling his scent, as he walked past her and back to the kitchen. She leapt back guiltily, letting the jacket slip down her shoulders a little as she glanced over at the roaring fire and shrugged._


	12. Chapter 12: Possession is ninetenths

_And another chapter. Pretty please comment? puts hands together beggingly _

**Part 12: Possession is nine-tenths of the law**

It was Tommy's turn to mutter every profanity he knew of as he made his way down the dark path to the spot where Jude had dropped her bag. It was now completely dark except for dim light from a full moon, by which he could faintly make out the various sharp branches blocking his path just seconds before he crashed into them. When he finally returned to the cabin, holding up Jude's bag victoriously, he proudly bore numerous new scratches and bruises like battle wounds.

Jude's eyes flittered over to him, a look of pure boredom darkening her features. "You got the pizza?" she asked with a fake smile.

He rolled his eyes and once again determined to swallow his anger as he threw the bag down on the table. He unzipped it and began to rifle around inside but this too earned Jude's displeasure.

"Did I say you could go through my bag?" she asked as she crossed her arms over her chest as glared at him from the sofa.

"Oh grow up, Jude," he snapped.

She raised an eyebrow, "Sure, sounds fun. You go first though." He released the bag and let it fall to the tabletop with a loud crash, his gaze fixed on her angrily, before he began to pace back and forth in the kitchen area. Jude waited in knowing silence, waiting for his temper to cool somewhat before she proceeded. She rubbed her hands up and down her bare arms, "It's kind of cold in here, don't you think?" She glanced over her shoulder at the fireplace in the center of the room.

Tommy glanced over at her, "Would you like a fire, darling?" he asked as sweetly as he could through gritted teeth.

She shrugged, "That might be nice."

He stalked over to the door; momentarily considering taking her bag over to her so she could get the food or whatever else she might need while he was gone, but then discarded the idea with a slight sense of satisfaction.

He scrambled around in the dim moonlight, picking up branches and twigs from the forest floor. Though he'd never admit it, he was starting to side with Jude in her dislike of nature. He returned to the cabin, dumping his armload of sticks on the floor. Now his anger had cooled slightly he remembered his leather jacket and quickly shrugged it off. He advanced toward Jude, holding the coat out as a peace offering but she shook her head and looked away.

"What am I always telling you about wearing more clothes?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes, "You're always sounding exactly like my mother and nagging me about it."

"And I'm right?" He leaned around her and draped the jacket over her shoulders. She glared at him for the effort but didn't shrug the jacket away. As he was working on the fire he glanced over his shoulder to see her sitting back on the sofa and slipping her arms into the sleeves of the jacket. He found some old yellowed newspaper and scrunched it up then laid the sticks out. Thankfully an old book of matches was sitting next to the fireplace and he was able to light it without having to try out his caveman instincts and rub two sticks together.

He pretended not to notice how Jude had wrapped his jacket tightly around her self and buried her nose into the collar, inhaling his scent, as he walked past her and back to the kitchen. She leapt back guiltily, letting the jacket slip down her shoulders a little as she glanced over at the roaring fire and shrugged. "Not bad, I guess," she grudgingly admitted.

He nodded. "Not quite as simple as turning on an electrical heater but I can handle it," he grinned smugly and she rolled her eyes.

Jude was gazing into the fire sleepily when he finally located a box of cookies in the bottom of her backpack. He checked the kitchen cupboards and found an old plate which he quickly cleaned in the sink before laying out the cookies. Jude was so lost in her daydream that she didn't notice him approaching until he'd waved the plate under her nose. "A balanced meal for ravenous rock stars," he remarked with a wink as he offered her the plate.

"Thanks," she responded gingerly. She still hadn't allowed him any room on the sofa so with a groan and a sigh, he slid down onto the floor in front of it, his back against one of the armrests.

"You're not having any?" she asked a few moments later.

He tilted his head back to look up at her, "You're going to share your cookies with lowly little me?" he asked incredulously.

She made a face and chucked a cookie in his general direction. He managed to catch it before it hit the floor. "Well, you did get the fire going I guess," she acknowledged, "That earns at least one cookie."

He turned back to the fire, holding the cookie up in front of his face before taking a bite, "Lucky me," he responded sarcastically around a mouthful of cookie.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," she responded automatically and he stifled a smile at the all too familiar reprimand.

---

Jude was curled up on the sofa, dozing sleepily in the warmth from the fireplace as Tommy went about preparing a place for them to sleep. He found a cupboard filled with clean sheets and blankets and proceeded to make up the large double bed in the corner of the room. Jude eyed him warily from the sofa but didn't comment.

When he'd finally succeeded in his battle with the sheets and mattress, he turned to find her sitting up and staring at him expectantly, "What?" he asked nervously.

She held up a strand of her long blonde hair, "I forgot my hairbrush in the car."

"So?" He sat back on the bed, stifling a yawn.

"You know how my hair gets if I don't brush it before bed," she scolded.

He pretended to be deep in thought. "Nope, I don't think I do."

She scowled. "I need," she dragged out the word, "My hairbrush."

"Come on, Jude. We're in the middle of nowhere. I don't think it matters to anyone what your hair looks like."

She smirked, "Maybe I want to look beautiful for you."

He snorted loudly, "Sure. Yeah."

She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. If the desired effect was supposed to be formidable she was failing miserably. His jacket was at least three sizes too big for her and she was drowning in the leather. Her hair was disheveled with a twig and leaf sticking out of the back and as she sat there glaring at him, she resembled a young girl having a tantrum because she was short on sleep. "Tommy, go get my hairbrush," She commanded icily.

His eyes widened as he realized she was serious in her demand, "It's like a mile back to the car! It's dark and I'm not going out there without a flashlight for a damn hairbrush!"

She began to push her self up from the sofa, "Fine, I'll go."

He rolled his eyes, "Right."

She stood on her good foot, wobbling precariously before making a hopping jump in the general direction of the door.

"Jude, you're acting like a child."

"And you're acting like a jerk," she commented, "You have been for months."

"I get it, okay?" His voice was rising in volume as he stood to his feet, "You're trying to make me suffer for what I did because you're angry but you're acting like a twelve-year-old!"

"Don't you dare try to analyze me!" She spat angrily, "You don't know how I'm feeling."

He took a few feet toward her and watched as she shrank back, "_Yes_, I do, Jude. Because I know you better then anyone. I know you better than I know myself. I know exactly what makes you tick, what makes you angry and what makes you happy. You're a part of me, Jude. You're mine."

She shook her head incredulously as he paused a foot away from her, "I don't belong to you," she remarked icily.

He shook his head. "Yeah, you do and I belong to you. We made those vows a long time ago," he said softly.

She shook her head as tears began to well up in her eyes, "Yeah, then you broke yours which I think by default relieves me of mine."

"Jude…" he pleaded. He closed the space between them and wrapped his arms around her but she shoved him away.

"Don't do that! I am _not_ yours! I don't belong to you, Tommy and you certainly don't belong to me! If you did, you wouldn't have done what you did!" Her voice shook as she struggled to utter the words, "You wouldn't have betrayed me! So don't go on some possessive warpath acting like you own me because you don't own a damn thing!"

He couldn't explain the confidence that was surging through him as he shook his head determinedly. "I own your heart," he whispered as the tears spilled down her cheeks. "I do, Jude. You gave it to me a long time ago. Remember?" He reached over and brushed a tear from her cheek. "I remember. It was the sweetest gift I ever got and I'm so sorry I abused it but I know you love me. I know you _still_ love me and you can't deny that!"

She closed her eyes tightly, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs and for a moment time stood still.

**Preview for Part 13**

"_That's it then." He finally remarked, his voice shaky. "If you're not going to forgive me there isn't really anywhere we can go from here."_


	13. Chapter 13: In Conclusion

_AN: Okay, here's the final chapter. I'm always ridiculously nervous when it comes to concluding a story so please comment and leave reviews (the longer the better. Hint hint. ;)). Even if you haven't reviewed during the writing of the story I'd love to hear from you now. Now I've completed Emotionless I can focus more attention on another IS FanFic project I've been working on. Watch out for that. :) _

---

**Part 13: In Conclusion**

"I don't want to do this right now." She shook her head and turned to hop away from him. He put a hand on her shoulder, stopping the motion and nearly causing her to fall over as she balanced on one foot. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"It was one mistake, Jude," he said softly. "I've apologized a hundred times and you've certainly made me suffer for it. Can't we move on? Finally?"

She was silent and frozen in place, her body tense in his arms.

He swore under his breath and leaned forward to speak into her ear. "It wasn't a pre-mediated action you know." he said firmly, angrily.

"So what? We're talking the difference between manslaughter and murder? Someone's still dead." she remarked with a shake of her head.

He rested his forehead against the back of her head and sighed. "I didn't plot a time when I knew you wouldn't be home. I didn't plan it for weeks in advance. I didn't set out to go behind your back and betray you. It was something that happened in the moment and would never have happened under any other circumstance."

She lifted her head and gazed at the wall in front of her. Ever so slightly she tilted her head to the side as she asked him, "Would that mean a thing to you if I was the one who'd cheated?"

He shook his head, feeling a dull ache in his chest, "Probably not."

She was silent and he sighed as he removed his arms from around her. He paced back in forth, his fingers pressed to his temples in an attempt to ease the sharp pain throbbing inside his head. Jude returned to the sofa with minimal difficulty and watched wordlessly as he paced.

"That's it then." he finally remarked, his voice shaky. "If you're not going to forgive me there isn't really anywhere we can go from here."

Jude had been toying with a loose thread on the sofa as he spoke but at his last words her head shot up.

He turned to her, "Maybe we should separate. It's what you want."

Her eyes were sparkling as she shook her head softly. "No, it's not," she whispered softly.

He threw his hands up into the air, "Yes, it is! You've been pushing me away for almost a year and we can't keep going on like this. It's not healthy and it's not fair to either of us."

Groaning, she put her head in her hands. "You're giving up on me."

He knelt down on the floor in front of her and gazed up at her as he moved her hands away from her face. "I love you. I will always love you. But I think it's time I finally let you go."

She closed her eyes tightly and shook her head. "Don't. _Please_ don't!" Tears spilled down her cheeks as she opened her eyes and gazed at him pleadingly. "I don't want you to. I don't. I can't live without you. Tommy, please?"

She hurled herself off the sofa and into his surprised arms, almost knocking him over with the sudden impact. She buried her head in his chest as she cried. As the shock gradually wore off he slowly wrapped his arms around her shaking shoulders and rested his chin on her head.

"I love you," she whispered shakily and his heart swelled at the words.

"I love you too." He cupped her chin and lifted her face till she was gazing up at him, "So much, Jude." She nodded wordlessly and closed the space between them, gently pressing her lips to his.

---

The intrusive morning sun peered through the windows of the old cabin and streamed across the old four poster bed. Tommy opened his eyes slowly and peered around him, taking a moment to remember where he was and the events of the night before. He glanced down and a joyful smile played across his lips as he gazed down at Jude's sleeping form in the bed next to him. She smiled at something in her sleep and rolled over so she was facing him. She shivered and he reached over and gently drew the sheets up over her bare shoulders before snuggling down next to her.

He rested his face mere inches from hers, gazing adoringly as he watched her sleep. He loved the flicker of her eyelids as she dreamt, he loved the peaceful, relaxed appearance of her face and the way she had one hand curled beneath her cheek.

For what had seemed like an eternity of hell he'd slept alone and had he tried; he wouldn't have been able to find the words to describe the overwhelming relief of having Jude next to him again. Just to be able to open his eyes in the middle of the night and see her chest rise and fall as she slept - to know she was safe and next to him.

He'd missed being able to pull her into his arms for no other reason than because he wanted to hold her. Taking the opportunity to do so now, he did just that. She stirred a little in her sleep, shrugging her shoulders and shifting her head on the pillow as his arms wrapped around her.

When they were this close it truly seemed like they were one person in two separate bodies; as if nothing else in the world mattered but them. With his forehead softly pressed to hers they shared every breath they took, and he closed his eyes at the delicious sensation of her breath tickling his face.

Her blonde hair was splayed across the pillow, a strand or two falling across his pillow and showing a stark contrast to his own dark brown hair. They always had been the most enchanting combination of contrasts and similarities. They were perfect for each other.

As the sun continued its pestering demand, begging them to wake and embrace the day, Jude's eyes slowly flittered open. She gazed at Tommy, her expression blank and for a moment he felt a tug of fear in his heart as the nightmarish thought flittered through his mind; would she take it all back? The feeling was replaced with waves of comfort as she smiled for the first time in nearly a year. The smile didn't just grace her lips, it spread to her eyes and seemed to almost glow from her golden locks and radiate from her body as delicious warmth.

He smiled tenderly and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear as he brushed his lips against hers in a welcoming kiss.

"I love you." he whispered. In that moment he swore to himself that he would start every day with those words. They weren't just three simple words- overused and under appreciated. They were a promise he'd made and would continue to make throughout his life with Jude. It was something he'd never neglect again; like some dying garden starved of sunlight and water. Each day was a test and each day brought its challenges but he determined never again to bruise the fragile heart he'd been given so long ago.

"I love you." he whispered again and his heart sang with joy as the words echoed from her lips.

"I love you too."

**The End**


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